Talkin' 'Bout My Generation

Last weekend, I was chatting with some friends and one of them remarked how “Gen X was the best generation.” She is 100% correct – and not just because it is my generation.

I’m now of an age where I recount what it was like when I was a kid. The same stories like “I used to walk to school in the snow, barefoot, and it was uphill both ways” that we used to hear when we were kids. But there is a big difference. When my grandparents used to tell those stories, it was to show us how much better we had it than they did, how lucky we were to have so many comforts that they were not afforded.

In this case, I’m telling these stories to show how great it was when I was a kid, how free our lives used to be. That was the crux of our conversation, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Gen X wasn’t just great for the kids – it was also great for their parents. 

For the past week or so, I have been expertly procrastinating dealing with summer camp for the kids. First, it’s expensive and I’m actively trying to avoid spending money. Second, it’s exhausting and overwhelming. Lucy wants to go back to ESF, where she goes every year, but she’s also doing a week away at Girl Scout Camp. Since she’s doing that, it begs the question of does she want to try other camps? Which then leads me down a rabbit hole of which friends are going to which camp? Then there’s the money question. Can I convince her to go to some camps that are a little more affordable, even for a week or two? (The answer to that is no … so far.) Charlie, on the other hand, will basically follow Lucy. Sorry, dude.

When I was Lucy’s age, I think I went to a week, maybe two, of performing arts camp (shout out to Theater & Kids). There were some sports camps as I got older. But that was it. I certainly wasn’t heading to camp all day for 8 weeks. Instead, I played softball in the evenings. I rode my bike around the neighborhood. I hung out with friends. Before we had a pool, I swam in my neighbor’s or occasionally tagged along with friends to our community one. I spent time with my grandparents and cousins. I laid on the couch and incessantly complained to my mom about how bored I was. 

At the time, my mom did not work outside the home, so, on the one hand, we didn’t have to go to camp. On the other hand, I don’t remember my friends whose parents did work going to camp either. I’m sure some kids did, but I am sure that it wasn’t like it is today. Parents weren’t booking camps in January for fear they will miss out on coveted weeks and spots. And while this summer is different given my current job situation, I do have some commitments during the work day and my kids are used to going to camp for most of the summer. They do not know how to entertain themselves. 

Apparently my freedom extended to my fashion choices as well

When I was a kid (here we go again), I was forced to entertain myself. I was given the leeway to figure things out and be a kid. When we go to restaurants as a family, we try very hard – and usually succeed – to not give our kids phones. Instead, we force them to color or play tic-tac-toe. If I have my shit together, I bring coloring or sticker books so they have something to do besides whine about being bored. My parents didn’t do that when I was a kid. But I also didn’t sit at the table the entire time.

Whenever we went to dinner at Famous Pizza, an Italian restaurant in a small strip mall, we would no sooner be seated than I would ask if I could walk around the drugstore next door. You didn’t need to leave the building to get there. But it was an entirely different space. There were times my parents made me wait until we ordered, but more often than not, they were happy to let me go. They could sit and talk and not have to listen to me complain about boredom. And I would wander the aisles of North Penn Drugstore, checking out the make up, the stuffies, and making friends with the people that worked there. I frequented the store so often I knew their names – Joan and Linda – and they knew mine. Eventually I would return and ask for money to buy something or they’d send my sister over to get me because the food had arrived. But that freedom to wander, to explore, to entertain myself is what allowed us to have a (relatively) peaceful dinner.

Imagine if I had to sit there the entire time? I would have died, much like my kids do when I make them sit at a restaurant. I sort of hate going out to dinner with my kids for that exact reason. We worry that they’re annoying everyone around them because they can’t sit still and if they do sit, we have to make sure there is an endless stream of entertainment. It’s hard on the kids, but it’s equally hard on the parents. How freeing would it be for all of us if I could let them wander around a bit?

But alas, that is not the case.

I have no solutions this week. Just musings. And maybe an offering for parents to give yourselves a little more grace when it comes to parenting. It’s always been hard and while on some levels it has gotten easier (thank you Amazon and Target), the expectations on parents and kids today is insane. I would love to leave my kids in the car and run into a store to grab something. But I can’t. Someone would video it or even worse call the police. I would love to let my kids wander around a store by themselves. But I can’t. Someone would think they were lost. 

The best I can do is try to let them have some freedom whenever I can. For me right now, that means letting them go to the bathroom solo in small restaurants where I can see them or letting them run ahead on our way to the playground. I know those boundaries will grow as they get older, but they’ll never be where they were for my generation. 

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This week, things from my youth that are now cool again.

1. Tamagotchi Original, $19.99, amazon.com

   These might be more millennial than Gen X, but it’s close. I didn’t own one of these, but I did confiscate a lot of them during my time as a camp counselor. It’s akin to the iPhone of today’s camp world. But somehow Lucy heard about it and asked for one for Christmas. I have zero expectations that she’s keeping it alive but she loves carrying it around with her, which is enough to make it a win for me.

2. Caboodles, $18.97, amazon.com

   The stronghold that Caboodles had on me in the ‘80s and ‘90s cannot be emphasized enough. My first one was small and peach. I then expanded my collection to larger ones (yes, plural) and one that was specifically for nails. They made a resurgence a few years ago, and thankfully, seem to be here to stay.

3. The Baby-Sitters Club Box Set, $35, amazon.com

   This is a case of the same but different. These Baby-Sitter Club books (note the hyphen) are graphic novels. It’s the same characters and same ideas. In some ways, it’s exactly the same (Claudia is cool, Stacey still has diabetes), which is probably why I love reading these with Lucy. I told Lu that I read these as a kid and she asked me if I read the olden days ones — you know, the ones with just words. To which I replied, “yes, I did.” And she just went, “wow.” So while I’d love for her to read, the originals, we’ll stick with the graphic novels for now.

4. Bop It, $15.97, amazon.com

   I don’t know if I owned a Bop It and I definitely haven’t thought about the game in probably 35 years. But the other day, Lucy told me she wanted a Bop It for her birthday because she had played with it at her friends house and loved it. I ask “Bop it?” and she goes, “You know, bop it, twist it, flip it” and I actually did know. While the game had escaped my memory, the TV ad had not. So we added it to her already very long birthday list.