That Change Would Do You Good

But even if it would, that doesn't make it any less scary to actually do it.

In order to talk about the new year and all the things I want to do, I need to go back to September. That is when I lost my job. When I decided to make a change.

It wasn’t a huge surprise when I was let go. I knew in July layoffs were coming, but I wasn’t sure if I would be affected. In some ways, those months were harder than the weeks after it happened. I oscillated between feeling excited about being laid off for the freedom, the opportunity to start over, that came with it and the sheer terror of what it would mean to not have a job or income.

 So when it happened, it wasn’t as traumatic as it could have been. I had mentally prepared for it. That’s not to say, I wasn’t upset or, on some level, embarrassed or ashamed. It’s impossible to not feel a little badly about yourself when a company has chosen to let you go – even if it’s along with a slew of others. But when people found out and asked how I was doing, I was genuine when I said good.

In the first few days, maybe even weeks, that followed, I worked on my resume and reached out to old connections about freelance opportunities. I started to work on a website that would display my work. I looked and looked and looked at jobs. I saved jobs. I applied for jobs. And I didn’t want a single job I saved or applied for. 

In fact, I felt this overwhelming fear that I would get one of these jobs and be plunged back into all of the things I had ever disliked about my previous jobs. Most of these things were of no fault to the companies I had worked for. They were simply things you endure when you’re a working mom in corporate America. And I don’t think I was ever a good fit for corporate America. It brings out my worst traits and doesn’t reward the ones that set me apart.

When I had those moments of “what if I got laid off?” in the weeks before the actuality of it, I had dreamed of pivoting. Of starting something that would bring me joy. Of doing something totally different. But now faced with the opportunity to make a change, I wasn’t sure if I had the courage to make it. Change is scary, terrifying even. And I worried what people would think or say. And money. I still lay in bed at night worrying about money. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was meant to do something else.

For three years, I have taught spin classes and I LOVE it. It is, in fact, everything I am good at. It’s talking ✅. It’s connecting with people ✅. It’s performing ✅. It’s exercising ✅. It’s building and being a part of something ✅. So I quietly started looking at jobs in fitness. I quietly started looking at what it would take to get my personal training certification. I quietly started thinking about what it would look like if I fully pivoted my career. Then, one day, I said it out loud to a friend. She (thankfully) very enthusiastically replied that she thought it was a brilliant idea. Then I told Andrew, who luckily, was also on board to let me figure this out.

I started studying for my personal training certification and passed the exam in November (don’t be fooled – that course is long and the test is hard!). And have been quietly building a business. I have a website and a client (two if you count my friend who graciously allows me to practice on her). I am networking like crazy. I am going to different classes and meeting other instructors. I am having coffee with others in the industry. I am responding to every Facebook post I see about someone wanting personal training. I am simultaneously invigorated by the possibility of what is to come and haunted by the possibility that this could be an utter failure. But time and time again, the excitement of the potential and possibility outweigh the negative thoughts. This past week, I’ve met up with two people and both times I’ve left feeling – knowing – that this is where I am meant to be. 

So what are my goals for 2025? I am still plotting out the specifics. But I know it is growing my personal training business and my footprint in the industry. I know I want to write for magazines like Women’s Health and Runner’s World. I know I want to put myself out there. I was listening to Hurdle Podcast today and the host Emily Abbate said “You will never regret betting on yourself.” And if that isn’t the energy we all need going into 2025, I don’t know what is. 

P.S. If you have a good connection, let me know!  Or know someone on the Mainline who is looking for a personal trainer, send them my way! 

* I personally and independently select these items and will never recommend something I wouldn’t use or buy myself. If you decide to purchase something through one of my links, I may earn commission through affiliate links. You can learn more about affiliate marketing here.

Today, the only things that got me through the cold weather this week. Holy shit, it’s cold!

1. Rechargeable Electric Hand Warmers, $11.99, amazon.com

   Andrew got me these for Christmas, and I will admit, I laughed. He had purchased something similar a few years ago and they went mainly unused. Well, not these. They’re smaller and fit perfectly in my mittens. I’ve used them every morning and afternoon at the bus stop. I’ve used them on walks with friends and while the kids went sledding. My hands have been the only thing very toasty for the past week!

2. Wunder Puff Down-Fill Long Jacket, $398, shop.lululemon.com

   This is the warmest jacket I have ever owned. It’s very long — which is a good and bad thing. Good because you are really covered from head to mid-shin. Bad because getting in and out of the car is a little tough, as is zippering the jacket. But the good greatly outweigh the bad and make every dollar spent on this jacket worth it.

3. UGG Faux Fur Reversible Throw, $115, amazon.com

   Did I already recommend this? Why yes I did. Am I doubling down on this recommendation? Why yes I am. It is the softest and warmest blanket I have ever known. Everyone in my family loves it, but luckily, it’s so big me, Lucy and Charlie can snuggle under it. (Sorry, Andrew.)

4. SOREL Women’s Tivoli Waterproof Boot, $149.95, amazon.com

   Last winter, I made the grave mistake of wearing boots that had no insulation in the snow while the kids were sledding. I’m like 98% sure I had frostbite on my feet when we got home. They hurt and were bright red. I could barely walk. Well, not this year, my friends! Andrew got me these for Christmas (and yes, he killed it this year) and I have never been so thankful to have these this week.