The New Tech Revolution

But this time -- and hear me out -- we use it less.

My friend sent me a very angry text a few weeks ago: “I’m on a mission to burn down Nordstrom.” I asked if there was any reason why and she informed me that they had banned her from shopping there. After I stopped sending laughing emojis, I asked if she had emailed them. She had and here’s their response:

While reviewing your request, we identified concerning shopping behavior associated to your online account which we will no longer be able to support. We made the difficult decision to end our business relationship due to the unusual shopping patterns. Unfortunately, any orders you placed would be canceled. I apologize for the disappointing news. At this time, we are asking you to seek other retailers that will better suit your needs. If you have any questions or concerns, please reply at your convenience. If you would like to be contacted by phone, please include your best contact number and we will reach out to you as soon as possible.

I literally can’t stop laughing. WTF. 

Now on the one hand, there are other retailers. But in her defense, Nordstrom carries a lot of brands. She didn’t steal from them or do anything nefarious. Maybe she returned things more often than they would prefer, but she also purchases a good amount from them. It feels unfair and wrong to ban someone from using a popular website without a really good reason. 

But I feel her pain.

I am currently blocked by Uber. They claim I deleted the app and deactivated my account, which I did not, but ok. The only way to rectify the situation is to email Uber’s help desk. I have. Six times. And no one has responded. So when I needed to get to the airport for work, I became a Lyft rider – until they couldn’t verify my credit card because my work and personal cards have different zip codes. I arrived at LAX with no way to get a ride – except for a taxi, which I was literally paralyzed at the idea of. I, who lived in NYC at a time when taxis didn’t even accept credit cards and paid in change more times than I would like to admit, was completely paralyzed by the idea of taking a taxi from LAX to my hotel. 

So what did I do? I did what any sane person of my generation would do. I waited for my friend and co-worker, whose plane landed shortly after mine and whose Uber account was still in working condition, and we shared an Uber to the hotel. What have I become? 

I am a lover and avid user of technology but all of this is sort of making me pause. I’m a people person, an extrovert. I love talking to people. I love talking to people more than they probably love hearing me talk. But I will literally not make a reservation at a restaurant if it requires me to call you to do so. I will find an alternative option on Open Table or Resy that I convince myself will be just fine. 

I have 5 people I actually feel comfortable calling on the phone: my mom and sister; a co-worker (usually this is all work related but I will call without hesitation); a friend of 20 years, who I sometimes just need to call versus texting for hours; and the last is a unicorn of a millennial who just randomly calls me sometimes, so I, in return, feel ok doing the same. 

Five people out of the hundreds of contacts in my phone. Again, what have I become?

In many ways, technology has made my life so much easier and better. This newsletter has re-connected me with friends from lifetimes ago and receiving messages from them brings me a joy that I can’t even put into words. But I’d be silly not to admit that technology has made my life harder, maybe even worse, too. Harder to really connect. Harder to think on my own. Harder to not rely on it for every damned thing.

I went to the opening of the Jenni Kayne store in Suburban Square and it was amazing. The store is beautiful, the people friendly and the clothes so gorgeous I couldn’t help but buy a few things.

I am not entirely sure how to change it. So much of our daily lives require it. But I am on a mission to scale it back ever so slightly in the places I can. One thing – IRL shopping. What a revolutionary idea.

I’ve found that it’s actually forcing me to think about the purchases I’m making. It’s more thoughtful, less immediate gratification. It’s also good for me to leave my home. I’m still weird when people talk to me when I walk in the store (No, I am not looking for anything in particular. Yes, I have shopped here before.), but I also find myself connecting in random ways with people. I had a whole conversation about running sneakers with the salesperson at Faherty recently. It was lovely. It’s those random connections that we need. It’s those random connections that sometimes turn into more than just a random connection.

Maybe my next thing will be making more phone calls instead of just texting. And if that’s not your thing, you do you – but still pick up when I call.

Below are some products I recently purchased IRL that you can purchase online (oh, the irony) or go to the store to buy it. And while I encourage you to get out there and connect with random people, I sincerely hope you keep connecting with me via technology or any way you want.

1. Jenni Kayne Cove Dress, $325, jennikayne.com

   This dress is pure perfection. You can dress it up or dress it down. Granted, I’m not wearing this to the playground, but I could definitely wear it to date night with flats or to a wedding with heels and amazing jewelry. It’s beautifully made (obviously) and it has pockets, which is a requirement for any dress I buy. I tried it on in a small and x-small and, because I was in the store with a friend, I got real feedback. They all agreed I should opt for the small because the tighter top of x-small took away from the flowyness of the dress.

2. Athleta Retroterry Crewneck Sweatshirt, $79, athleta.com

   Admittedly, I’m more of a Lulu girl than an Athleta girl, but I needed a gift for my mom’s birthday. I wandered into the store and was really impressed by their selection of clothes and styles. For someone who owns more workout bottoms than go-out bottoms, I quickly found five things I wanted to try on. But I wasn’t there for me (this time). I found this sweatshirt and loved how lightweight it was, which is something I never could have figured out online. The checkout woman even wrapped it up for me, which was an added bonus.

3. Wild Fable Zip Up Hoodie, $30, Target.com

   I was at Target for something totally different. I wasn’t even supposed to be in the women’s clothing section. But there I was. I saw this sweatshirt and I couldn’t say no. It’s insanely soft and there’s something about the color that makes it feel elevated. I never would have bought it online because light beige can wash me out, but this one doesn’t. I also have the matching sweatpants (they’re no longer for sale online) and it’s now my go-to travel outfit. Super comfortable and versatile for $30? Sold.

4. Faherty Sunwashed T-Shirt Polo, $98, faherty.com

   Andrew stumbled into Faherty one day and he’s been shopping there ever since. The quality of the clothes is great and everything is soft to the touch. I bought this shirt for my dad for his birthday and then realized he and Andrew can now match. I also walked into this store like a raging bitch because I was trying to cram it into to my already over-packed day. Then the nice lady behind the counter talked to me about my running sneakers and I left in a much better mood.